@Pet_Proletariat Glad you posted this and it did give me a smile at first, but OMG – every time I check out Fox News it seems I just can’t stand it for more than five minutes. It didn’t take long for Carlson’s condescending, hate-filled shtick to tick me off. Baiting the anchor over and over and laughing in his face – acting like a grade school brat. I have to give Enrique Acevedo a lot of credit – he maintains his composure throughout and reasons with a bigot. Once again, trash on the right meets class on the left.
Fox News has become the most Fox News they will ever be. Lowbrow postmodern surrealism at its finest.
Yes, Tucker is high on his own rehearsed invective. He knows that if he amps it up he’s going to be more beloved by his caustic attacks.
Horrid delivery…smug, assinine…and rich in red meat. Ugggggghhhh
assinine = Something so stupid it makes a person look like a complete ass, despite whatever misguided good intentions they believe they have
Humor Fix The Borowitz Report
Pence Stages One-Man Parade in Honor of Trump
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hours after the Pentagon announced that it would postpone a military parade that Donald J. Trump had requested, Vice-President Mike Pence staged a one-man parade in Trump’s honor.
Explaining his decision to mount the solitary parade, Pence told reporters, “It is the least I can do to pay tribute to the greatness and majesty of Donald Trump, a true American hero.”
Pence acknowledged, however, that marching alone “was a neat way to keep the budget down.”
“Obviously, if money were no object, I would have gone for a little more spectacle,” he said. “Maybe a flyover by Space Force.”
Marching proudly with his chest thrust forward and breaking out into a near-strut, Pence’s parade route took him down Pennsylvania Avenue, where he waved occasionally to confused-looking passersby.
“It was weird seeing him walking all by himself,” Carol Foyler, a tourist who witnessed the Pence parade, said. “I waved back because it was just so sad.”
Pence’s one-man march drew high praise from Trump, who took to Twitter to declare it the largest parade in history.
Now that it’s been distilled we can use it as an extract and make cookies.
The only cookies you could make out that kind of extract are Orange Pinwheels.
Click for comments, watch gifs for a while.
@macro Spot on – and so funny! Thanks for brightening my day.
And let’s not forget the “Dept. of Alternative Facts” and the “Dept. of Truth Isn’t Truth.”
Shout out to @dragonfly9 who got me hooked on “The Borowitz Report.”
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Putin Reportedly Close to Firing Giuliani
MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report) — Vladimir Putin is reportedly “very close” to firing Rudolph Giuliani as Donald J. Trump’s attorney, a source close to the Russian President confirmed on Monday.
According to the source, Putin allowed Trump to hire Giuliani in the first place because “it’s important to let Trump think that he has some autonomy from time to time,” but now the Russian President has apparently determined that “enough is enough.”
Over the next few days, the source indicated, Putin is likely to replace Giuliani with a handpicked successor, Arkady Lubetkin, a criminal-defense attorney who has represented several prominent Russian Mob figures.
After hearing anecdotal reports of Giuliani’s appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press” on Sunday, Putin initially theorized that the nonsensical nature of Giuliani’s utterances had to be chalked up to “an error in translation,” the source said.
After reading an official transcript of Giuliani’s statements, however, the Russian President was apparently “flabbergasted.”
“Pravda is not pravda?” Putin reportedly said. “What is this bullshit?”
Borowitz Report - right on time @Keaton_James
Michael Cohen Pleads Guilty After Giuliani Offers to Be His Lawyer
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Michael D. Cohen decided on Tuesday to plead guilty to a host of financial crimes shortly after Rudolph Giuliani offered to be his lawyer on a pro-bono basis, Giuliani confirmed.
In an interview with Jake Tapper, on CNN, the former New York City mayor said that he had offered to give Cohen “the kind of defense that only I am capable of giving.”
“The minute I said that, the blood drained from his face and he was out of there like a shot,” Giuliani said. “It was the strangest thing I’d ever seen.”
Giuliani gave CNN viewers a snapshot of what his defense of Cohen would have been like. “I would have said, ‘Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client is guilty,’ ” he said. “ ‘Guilty as sin! But “guilty” rhymes with “not guilty,” and that’s what I’m asking you to find him today.’ I’m telling you, Jake, it would have been a killer.”