Gotta have one of these!
Been seeing these stupid things advertised on TV all year long, so I’m assuming it’s real & just another emolument violation. Considering that the “bear” is a long-standing representative for Russia, it’s an interesting marketing choice by our “very stable genius”, eh? Makes me want to hurl…
All I want for Xmas is a Trumpy Bear - that is - until they make a Trumpy Voodoo Doll.
Cabinet Warns Trump That Shutting Down Government Would Make It Harder to Steal From
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a tense meeting on Monday, leading Cabinet members warned Donald J. Trump that shutting down the federal government would make it exponentially harder for them to steal from.
Led by his Treasury Secretary, Steven Mnuchin, the Cabinet members begged Trump to prevent a government showdown that would bring their brazen spree of pillaging the nation’s coffers to a screeching halt.
“Mr. President, with the federal government up and running, I was able to take seven trips on military aircraft at a cost of eight hundred thousand dollars,” Mnuchin said. “I implore you, sir: don’t make me fly coach.”
Trump’s three oldest children, Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., who have piled up impressive taxpayer-funded travel bills of their own, chimed in with an emotional plea to their father. “Daddy, please don’t make us stop plundering government money,” Ivanka said. “Not right before Christmas.”
The normally taciturn Housing and Urban Development Secretary, Ben Carson, also spoke up, warning that a government shutdown would make it impossible for him to accessorize his thirty-one-thousand-dollar dining-room set by purchasing seven-thousand-dollar place mats. “I’d really like those,” he said.
According to Kellyanne Conway, the counselor to the President, the emotional Cabinet meeting had a profound impact on Trump. “For the first time he saw how a government shutdown would hurt people,” Conway said.
Here’s to hoping…
Click for a video of Bob Ross painting on Stephen Miller’s hair.
The Borowitz Report (special edition)
Melania’s Holiday Letter
At this holiday time of season, the Trump family gathers at Mar-a-Lago and I make sure to be somewhere else. You see, I am busy writing my memoir, which I call “Becoming.” Meanwhile, I want to share with you some of my favorite Borowitz Reports from 2018. It’s always a happy time when Borowitz Report appears in my e-mail, because I know it will make husband look bad (LOL).
Enjoy! And I hope your holidays Be Best.
What an “honor” …but I kinda feel sorry for this innocent little creature…