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Satire from The Borowitz Report

Trump’s Fourth of July Parade to Include Flyover by Russian Air Force

By Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “incredibly exciting news,” President Donald Trump revealed on Wednesday that his long-planned Fourth of July parade in Washington will include a flyover by Russian Su-24 fighter planes.

“These are beautiful, gleaming Russian planes,” Trump boasted to Tucker Carlson, of Fox News. “I’m the first American President who’s had Russian fighters flying over Washington.”

He said that he finalized the flyover deal while speaking to the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, at the G-20 Summit last week. “Putin said, ‘This is the least we can do, after all you’ve done for us,’ ” Trump said.

Trump said he imagined that the crews of the Russian military aircraft will be thrilled to fly over the nation’s capital. “I’m sure they’ll be taking a lot of pictures,” he said.




(Lynn) #1171

(David Bythewood) #1172

Scott Walker posted a GIF for today.

This is my response:

(David Bythewood) #1173

(David Bythewood) #1174

Rare Archival Footage of the Moment George Washington Realized the Continental Army MUST Secure Air Power to Beat the British!

( I couldn’t resist).


(Lynn) #1175

(David Bythewood) #1176

A massive crowd of sports fans in Lyon is chanting Equal Pay. That is awesome.

Rapinoe and the USWNT’s World Cup win may do more than shatter the glass ceiling, it could send the cause of Equa lPay into the stratosphere.

Flag from @SeanYoo

Sports bar patrons ruin Fox News segment by loudly chanting ‘F*ck Trump’ after US wins World Cup

(David Bythewood) #1177

Newly created.


Satire from The Borowitz Report

British Ambassador Concealed Insults from Trump by Writing Messages in English

LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—The British Ambassador to the United States, Kim Darroch, explained on Monday that he had tried to conceal insulting remarks from Donald Trump by writing his cables in English.

“I believed that, by writing these messages in English, that would serve the same purpose as encryption,” Darroch said. “The fact that Trump was somehow able to decode them remains deeply mysterious to me.”

Darroch said that, “out of an abundance of caution,” he took further steps to make the cables indecipherable to Trump, deploying multisyllabic words such as “dysfunctional.”

“Clearly, I did not take into account the possibility that one of his aides might read these cables aloud to him and explain what all of the long words meant,” he said. “I was not aware that there was anyone at the White House capable of performing such duties.”

In Washington, Trump appeared not to be taking the insulting cables personally. “The British are just mad at us for taking over their airports in the eighteenth century,” he said.

(David Bythewood) #1179

An organization like ICE can’t survive without corporate backers. Want to shut down oppressors? Deny them the tools they need to oppress. Name the companies helping them push their agenda of hatred and terror.

Money IS a major motivator. When the majority black population stopped shopping at white-owned businesses in Apartheid South Africa, the shop owners pushed the government to change!


Mick is back in fighting form…George Conway takes aim too

(David Bythewood) #1181


Satire from The Borowitz Report

U.K. Unable to Find Replacement Ambassador Who Does Not Think Trump Is an Idiot

LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Following the resignation of its Ambassador to the United States, Kim Darroch, the government of the United Kingdom has disclosed that it has been unable to find a replacement for Darroch who does not also think that Donald J. Trump is a blithering idiot.

At a press conference at 10 Downing Street, the British Prime Minister, Theresa May, revealed that the search for a new ambassador who does not believe that Trump is an imbecile has thus far come up empty.

“We did not want a repeat of the unfortunate Kim Darroch incident, so we made the first question on the job application, ‘Do you think Donald Trump is a moron?’ ” May said. “So far, none of the applicants has checked the ‘no’ box.”

May acknowledged that the government might have to expand its search for applicants beyond those with diplomatic experience in order to find a replacement for Darroch who does not consider Trump a dolt.

“We will search high and low until we find someone in this country who doesn’t think Donald Trump is a nitwit,” she said. “We’re starting by interviewing people who don’t think Boris Johnson is a nitwit.”

While affirming her government’s determination to find someone in the U.K. who does not think Trump is an unmitigated bonehead, May warned that the difficulty of the task must not be underestimated. “This is turning out to be harder than Brexit,” she said.While affirming her government’s determination to find someone in the U.K. who does not think Trump is an unmitigated bonehead, May warned that the difficulty of the task must not be underestimated. “This is turning out to be harder than Brexit,” she said.

(David Bythewood) #1183

The Kremlin Annex protest outside the White House is celebrating one year of annoying Donnie Tuesday the 16th.

They invite all to come out and protest with them if possible, and consider donating: ActBlue

And I MAY be helping provide them some graphics for their campaign!

(David Bythewood) #1184

Everything in Australia is trying to kill you. In this case, the modus operandi is laughter.

“Have you seen him? Queensland Police have shared a photo of a wanted man with a mullet and distinctive face tattoos over a string of crimes, including the alleged theft of $500 worth of sex toys and sour gecko lollies.”


(David Bythewood) #1185

An appropriate, or perhaps inappropriate, portrait of our times.



Satire from The Borowitz Report

Trump Furious That Mar-a-Lago Is Left with No Employees After ICE Raid

By Andy Borowitz

PALM BEACH, Florida (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump was reportedly “hopping mad” on Saturday after a surprise ice raid left his Mar-a-Lago retreat with no employees.

The ice agents conducting the pre-dawn raid swept through the opulent Palm Beach club and left guests with no one to prepare their food, wash their dishes, or clean their rooms.

When informed of the news, a furious Trump reportedly barked at his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and his sons Eric and Donald, Jr., ordering them to hurry to Palm Beach and wait on tables.

A spokesman for Mar-a-Lago called the situation “dire,” warning that the resort had lost almost as many staff members as the White House.