Everyone: Did you hear the news?
Everybody: From yesterday?
Everybody: I did, yeah. Awful.
Everyone: What the hell is going on right now?
Everybody: I don’t know. It’s insane.
Everyone: How about that thing from last night?
Everybody: Oh, my God, I saw that—how does it keep happening?
Everyone: Doesn’t make sense.
Everybody: Then I woke up this morning and saw that other thing.
Everyone: Yeah, that was so sad. Beyond sad. How about later this morning, remember that thing?
Everybody: I forgot about that. Jesus.
Everyone: Did you hear what just happened?
Everyone: Just now, while we were talking.
Everybody: No, I must have missed it. I was trying to do a news blackout for a little while. Is it bad?
Everyone: Really bad.
Everybody: Worse than the thing that happened when you said “really bad”?
Everyone: I don’t know about worse—it was different.
Everybody: What did you say?
Everyone: I said it was different.
Everybody: Sorry, I’m a little distracted because something horrifying just happened.
Everyone: Really? What?
Everybody: Wait, false alarm. I think I imagined it because I couldn’t deal with the lull.
Everyone: After that last thing, I promised myself I was going to do something—you know, like, get active.
Everybody: So what did you do?
Everyone: I tweeted.
Everybody: Did you really? What did you write?
Everyone: I wrote, “This has to STOP!!!”
Everybody: How many exclamation points did you use? Did you capitalize any of it?
Everyone: Three. And yes.
Everybody: You’re on the front lines of change.
Everyone: I know.
Everybody: Maybe I should try a news blackout for a little while, too.
Everyone: You should. It’s healthy.
Everybody: O.K. I’m doing it right now.
Everyone: Oh, my God! You just missed the craziest shit.
Everybody: I knew that was going to happen! I hate how out of touch I am.
Everyone: There’s so much going on lately that I feel like I’m getting numb to it all. Do you ever worry about that?
Everyone: Sometimes I just stare at terrible things on the screen with zero emotion on my face. Then eventually I snap out of it and start pointing and laughing, so that’s good.
Everybody: I’m scared I’m getting numb to things, too, but then I wake up screaming from asphyxiating night terrors and I’m relieved I’m still normal.
Everyone: There’s so much anger and helplessness flooding my thoughts, I worry that soon there won’t be any room for other emotions, like dread.
Everybody: The key for me has been to stop enjoying happiness. I’ve trained myself to actually be repulsed by it—that way I don’t miss it.
Everyone: I did that with hope. It’s great.
Everybody: I hate puppies now.
Everyone: They’re hideous.
Everybody: You know those moments between crying about one thing and crying about the next thing, when you finally have time to catch your breath and just cry about nothing?
Everyone: Yeah, but I feel like I’ve been taking those moments for granted—
Everybody: Sorry to interrupt, but I just saw what’s going to happen in, like, ten minutes, and it’s not good.
Everyone: Wait, you can see the future?
Everybody: Yes, I can.
Everyone: You mean you’re no longer a prisoner of the twenty-four-hour news cycle? You can see more?
Everybody: The future news cycle is within all of our grasps—you just need to know how to unlock it.
Everyone: Will you show me?
Everybody: Yes. But I warn you—you must truly want to see.
Everyone: I do want to see. I want to see everything!
Everybody: Then close your eyes.
Everyone (laughing manically): I see . . . I see everything. It’s horrible. Thank you!
Everybody: You’re welcome.