“Everywhere She Went Turned Bad,” Says Man with Six Bankruptcies
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a blistering tweet on Friday, the former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch, was accused of leaving a trail of destruction by a man with six bankruptcies and multiple business failures.
“Everywhere Marie Yovanovitch went turned bad,” wrote the man, who ran the now defunct United States Football League into the ground and paid twenty-five million dollars to settle fraud charges against a fake university bearing his name.
“She started off in Somalia, how did that go?” tweeted the man, whose lengthy roster of bankruptcies includes the Trump Taj Mahal (1991), Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino (1992), the Plaza Hotel (1992), Trump Castle Hotel and Casino (1992), Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts (2004), and Trump Entertainment Resorts (2009).
“Then fast forward to Ukraine, where the new Ukrainian President spoke unfavorably about her,” continued the man, who founded such business fiascoes as the Trump Shuttle airline, Trump Vodka, and Trump Steaks.
At the House of Representatives, Representative Devin Nunes vigorously defended the man’s controversial tweets. “He is calling out someone for creating disasters everywhere she goes, and no one is more qualified to talk about that than he is,” Nunes said.
“Savor a warm, slightly salty beverage of your choice in this union-made mug as you contemplate all the good a wealth tax could do: universal childcare, student debt cancellation, universal free college, and more,” reads a description of the mug on Warren’s campaign site, which also notes that the 11-ounce cup is made in America.
You know this is a collector’s item.
Tonight’s rally in LA. Do not know whether to laugh or cry…from Evan Vucci - photographer who covers all things T
Is he… for fake news? Against it? A fan of their first through third albums but nothing after they sold out? What the hell…
A WaPo cartoon from 1974 that still resonates today.
The one difference between now and then is that in 1974 the GOP had some integrity. When forced to make a choice, they chose the Constitution over a corrupt President. Not so today.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Warns Republicans That If They Vote to Impeach He Will Campaign for Them Like He Did in Louisiana
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Delivering an ominous threat to members of his own party, Donald J. Trump warned congressional Republicans on Monday that if they vote for impeachment he would come to their states and campaign for their reëlection.
In a series of intimidating, early-morning tweets, Trump made it clear that if Republicans wobble on impeachment, “I will hold rallies in your state and support you with everything I’ve got.”
Making it clear that his threat was far from hollow, Trump tweeted an image of a “Keep America Great” banner and warned, “I used these in Louisiana and Kentucky. Don’t think I won’t use them in your state!”
Trump’s threat to campaign enthusiastically for disloyal Republicans had an immediate impact on Monday, as several G.O.P. congresspeople who had previously called the President’s actions toward Ukraine “troubling” revised their assessment to “probably no big deal, now that I think about it.”
– Catherine Rampell : “Just as O.J. Simpson pledged to search for the real killer, Trump and his fellow Republicans are on the hunt for the Real Crimes…” (WaPo)
Our friend Jon Lovett from Crooked Media - Pod Saves America
When Rep Turner (R ) gives 'em the light touch…confirming their BS