I’m burnt out. You’re burnt out. The news sucks. This is a collaborative, curated thread for the strange-but-true things that aren’t really news but make the news. Let’s keep things above the belt, and free of memes, opinion or analysis. Trump and Trump administration-adjacent only, pls.
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Eric Trump reports that Eric Trump was spit on by a cocktail bar worker in Chicago.
“It was purely a disgusting act by somebody who clearly has emotional problems. For a party that preaches tolerance, this once again demonstrates they have very little civility. When somebody is sick enough to resort to spitting on someone, it just emphasizes a sickness and desperation and the fact that we’re winning.”
— Eric Trump statement to Breitbart News
A Fulton Market restaurant employee was taken into Secret Service custody Tuesday after allegedly spitting on Eric.
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The NRA shut down production of NRATV.
While NRATV may continue to air past content, its live broadcasting will end and its on-air personalities — Ackerman employees including Dana Loesch — will no longer be the public faces of the N.R.A.
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The “Baby Trump” blimp will fly in a “Salute to Trump” celebration just blocks from the White House hours before Trump’s Fourth of July address.
The 20-foot, diaper-clad balloon holding a cellphone has become a symbol at various events and rallies across the world since it first debuted during Trump’s visit to London last year.
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Megan Rapinoe said she is ‘not going to the fucking White House’ if the U.S. women’s national soccer team wins the World Cup. Trump then formally invited the team to the White House, “win or lose.”
Trump added that Rapinoe “should WIN first before she TALKS!”
Trump also called out Rapinoe earlier this week for kneeling during the national anthem. The U.S. Soccer Federation then adopted a policy that requires players to stand during it.
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State Department Official to leave his position after allegations of misconduct were reported by his colleagues.
Among the behaviors that had caused concern, according to two U.S. officials, is that Lawler was known to carry a whip at work in what was perceived as an attempt to intimidate colleagues.
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Great idea… @matt The news continues to drag us down…some off-the-wall bypasses are in order…to buoy not sink the crew here. 
Donald Trump has a habit of jumbling up his words and misspelling things on Twitter, but it’s less common for him to make those sort of gaffes in public.
During a ceremony at the White House on Tuesday, honouring a Medal of Honor recipient for his service during the Iraq war, the president got a little confused about what someone was wearing.
Staff sergeant David Bellavia was receiving the award thanks to his courageous efforts in November 2004 during the second battle of Fallujah, where he single-handedly killed four insurgents and protected the lives of his squad members.
However, when recounting Bellavia’s endeavour, Trump misspoke and claimed that one of the insurgents that Ballavia killed was not only hiding in a wardrobe but he also wearing a wardrobe too.
Next, two more insurgents came out of hiding and fired at David. He returned fire, killing them both.
Then, a third assailant burst out of a wardrobe — wearing a wardrobe — and opened fire.
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THE ONION - on the Democratic 2020 primary debates
What To Expect In The First Democratic Debates The first round of the Democratic Party 2020 primary debates will feature the top 20 presidential candidates over two nights in Miami. The Onion takes a look at what viewers should be watching for in the first Democratic debates.
Time enough for each candidate to go into depth by stating first 17 words of signature policy.
Ominous creak as stage struggles to support candidates’ collective weight.
Donald Trump’s name may come up once or twice.
Moderator to struggle suppressing laughter while posing question beginning with “In a Hickenlooper administration…”
Jay Inslee to tell heartwarming story of struggling single mother polar bear he met on campaign trail.
Intermission featuring donkey mascots performing trampoline dunks.
Embarrassing, disqualifying gaffe from Joe Biden that Democratic leaders are willing to ignore as long as he keeps a lead over Trump.
Dennis Kucinich standing onstage and taking questions for the first hour before anyone remembers he’s not running.
Pete Buttigieg to hammer home that everyone else on stage will be dead long before him.
Twenty people lying through their teeth about their ability to unite country.
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Betsy DeVos confirmed that education “clearly has not been at the top" of Trump’s "list of priorities to address."
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Duh, I say duh. (said like Foghorn Leghorn)
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The forum The_Donald was “quarantined” for threats of violence toward police officers and public officials in Oregon.
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Twitter will label and reduce circulation for tweets that violate its rules instead of deleting them. The new label applies to all verified political candidates and government officials with more than 100,000 followers.
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President Trump said Thursday that he is seeking to delay the constitutionally mandated census to give administration officials time to come up with a better explanation for why it should include a citizenship question.
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Friendly Reminder!
No memes, strange but true only.
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