Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Accuses Whistle-Blower of Working for United States
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Escalating his war of words against the person who sparked the impeachment inquiry, Donald J. Trump on Monday accused the whistle-blower of working for the United States of America.
Speaking to reporters at the White House, Trump said that he had evidence “directly linking” the whistle-blower to the United States government.
“This is the biggest witch hunt in the history of witches or hunts, and it was all started by someone who was in the pay of the United States,” Trump said. “It’s a disgrace.”
Expanding his attack, Trump accused his principal congressional nemeses, Representative Adam Schiff and Representative Nancy Pelosi, of being “card-carrying employees of the United States.”
“Follow the money,” he said. “Shifty Adam Schiff is cashing United States government checks every single week.”
Trump said that he was confident that his supporters would “see the impeachment inquiry for what it is: a conspiracy by people working on behalf of a country.”
“What it comes down to is, who are you going to trust, somebody who is working for the United States, or me?” he asked.
