Excerpt from- This is beyond absurd - Palmer Report
– Speaking of absurdities, how absurd is American politics? Imagine if every few years we put the arsonists in charge of the fire department, only to act surprised when they burn it all down. Then when we put the firefighters back in charge, we blame them for not cleaning up the arsonists’ mess fast enough.
2 women dressed as ‘grannies’ to get COVID-19 vaccine, Florida officials say
Two women disguised themselves as “grannies” in a failed attempt to get a second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine, Florida health officials said.
“So yesterday, we realized a couple of young ladies came dressed up as grannies to get vaccinated for the second time," Dr. Raul Pino, the director of the Florida Department of Health in Orange County, said during a press briefing Thursday. “So I don’t know how they escaped the first time.”
The women, who were likely in their 20s, showed up to the Orange County Convention Center wearing bonnets, gloves and glasses – “the whole thing,” Pino said.
They had valid vaccination cards from their first shot, but on their second attempt, there were issues with their driver’s licenses, said Pino, who did not have more details on what those were.
The county has increased security at the vaccination site to “deter any possible ill-intentions that someone may have,” Pino said.
“This is the hottest commodity that is out there right now,” the director said. “So we have to be very careful with the funds and the resources that we are provided.”
MORE: Florida official latest to step down nationwide during COVID-19 response
There have been no charges filed at this time and the identities of the two women have not been released.
There have been a few cases of people misrepresenting themselves to receive a dose, Pino said, adding that it’s probably “higher than we suspect.”
Beyond health care workers and residents and staff of long-term care facilities, those ages 65 and up are eligible to get the vaccine in Florida. Nearly 45% of that population has been inoculated in Orange County, officials said Thursday.
Last month, Florida started requiring proof of residency for COVID-19 vaccinations in select counties in the wake of concerns about “vaccine tourism” after eligibility was opened up to anyone age 65 and older.
The expanded eligibility resulted in long lines, with some older people even camping overnight in lawn chairs in the hopes of getting vaccinated.
As of Thursday, Florida had administered approximately 3.8 million COVID-19 vaccine doses, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
They wouldn’t support it even then; they did this to Obama, would whittle down Dem bills with demands and additions and then admitted they were just drawing them out and the bills passed with 0 Republican votes anyhow.
Misdirected email:
Dear Fellow Conservative,
Joe Biden has made it clear: he isn’t the President of the American people.
He’s the President of radical Left elites.
The American people are counting on you and me to be the voice of the masses … and to fight back for our nation, before we’re silenced for good. But we need your help.
Will you pitch in $25 or more to keep us fighting in 2021, 2022, and beyond?
Joe Biden always finds time to reward the far-Left… even if it means punishing regular Americans like you and me:
-
Allows illegal immigrants to pour into our country… while threatening to “ban” American citizens from traveling domestically.
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Pushes an unconstitutional gun confiscation program to stop “school shootings”… while siding with the Teachers’ Union to keep schools shut for good.
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Demands a $15 minimum wage … while small businesses hang by a thread due to a year-long lockdown.
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Pretends to “unify the country”… while dividing us by race and gender every chance he gets.
For Joe Biden, it’s radical Leftists first… and Americans like you and me last .
Worse, they’re working hard to silence every conservative voice… to destroy our ability to put up any sort of resistance against their left-wing power grab.
I need you to give now and support my work before they permanently shut me down.
Thank you for standing with us.
In Victory,
Charlie Kirk
Turning Point Action
And whatever you do, don’t let Biden appoint ANYONE (especially a female!) that’s ever tweeted, written or said anything “mean”, because “republicans” & trump supporters have dibs forever on that lane… 
ORLANDO (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump will use his speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference this weekend to announce that he has won the 2024 Presidential election.
According to leaked text from his CPAC speech, Trump will claim that he won the 2024 election in a landslide and “everybody knows it.”
Trump will further state that any attempt to allege that the year 2024 has not arrived yet and is, in fact, not scheduled to occur until three years from now is “a rigged hoax.”
“This should never be allowed to happen in our country,” he will assert.
Asked whether he would support Trump’s contention that the year 2024 is not three years away, Mitch McConnell, the Senate Minority Leader, said, “If he said that? Of course.”
The 50 most ridiculous lines from Donald Trump’s CPAC speech
(CNN)Donald Trump delivered his first major post-presidential speech on Sunday, an address to the Conservative Political Action Conference laden with falsehoods and attacks on his fellow Republicans – suggesting absolutely nothing has changed since he ceased being president on January 20.
I went through the speech and pulled out the lines you need to see. They’re below.
1. "Do you miss me yet? Do you miss me?"
At root, Trump wants to be loved. Forever. And away we go!
2. "I stand before you today to declare that the incredible journey we’ve begun together, we went through a journey like nobody else. There’s never been a journey like it."
Never been a journey that incredible? Um, these two dogs and a cat would disagree.
3. "We’ve been doing a lot of winning."
During Trump’s four years, Republicans lost the House majority, the Senate majority and the White House.
4. "We’re not starting new parties. You know, they kept saying, he’s going to start a brand new party. We have the Republican Party. It’s going to unite and be stronger than ever before. I am not starting a new party."
Some news! Trump says he won’t start a Trump-centric third party! Of course, if you think he might not change his mind about that, well, you must have missed the last four years.
5. "Let’s start a new party and let’s divide our vote so that you can never win. No, we’re not interested in that."
He’s right. A third party led by Trump would doom Republicans.
6. "Mr. McLaughlin just gave me numbers that nobody’s ever heard of before, more popular than anybody. That’s all of us. It’s all of us."
OK, so Trump’s pollster – John McLaughlin – gave him numbers before coming on stage that said he was “more popular than anybody”? Like, in the universe?
7. "I came here and he was giving me 95%, 97%, 92%."
97% what? Approval? Also, is it 92 or 97? Or 95?
8. "His campaign was all lies. "
Trump, ironically, is talking about Joe Biden’s 2020 campaign here.
9. "He wants windmills, the windmills … the windmills that don’t work when you need 'em."
Trump has been consistent about very few things in his life. His hatred of windmills is one of them.
10. "We had built almost 500 miles of great border wall that helped us with these numbers because once it’s up – you know, they used to say, ‘A wall doesn’t work.’"
The total amount of new wall built on our southern border by Trump? About 80 miles, according to the BBC.
11. "It’s amazing, considering that the Democrats’ No. 1 priority was to make sure that the wall would never, ever get built, would never, ever happen, would never get financed. We got it financed."
[narrator voice] Mexico didn’t pay for it.
12. "Covid-19, or as I call it, the China virus."
The CPAC crowd cheered and applauded after this. Which tells you everything you need to know.
13. "Actually, as you know, they just lost the White House. But it’s one of those things."
Biden won 306 electoral votes. He also beat Trump in the popular vote by more than 7 million. So, yeah.
14. "But who knows? Who knows? I may even decide to beat them for a third time, OK? For a third time."
Well, he didn’t beat “them” twice. Also, a Trump 2024 candidacy would be hard to stop for Republicans and a very likely general election loss.
15. "They are not giving us their best and their finest. Remember I said that. I said that a long time ago when I made the first remarks, when I came down the escalator with our great future first lady."
Remember when Republicans insisted that Trump was disqualified after he said that Mexico was sending people “bringing drugs … bringing crime. They’re rapists”? Yeah, now he is touting that he was right.
16. "Who loves you as much as I love you?"
I’m the man who loves you – Donald Trump, basically
17. "We have to stand tall as the party for law-abiding Americans, and others, when they are in our country."
“We love you. You are very special.” – Donald Trump to violent rioters who stormed the US Capitol on January 6.
18. "Some say it’s the greatest thing to happen in hundreds of years, hundreds of years. Two vaccines produced in record time with numerous others on the way, including the Johnson & Johnson vaccine that was approved just yesterday."
Donald Trump is taking credit for the production of the Covid-19 vaccine. And, no, he is (still) not an epidemiologist or a virologist or, um, a medical doctor at all.
19. "What the Trump administration has done with vaccines has, in many respects, perhaps saved large portions of the world, not only our country but large portions of the world."
Well, modesty has never been a Trump trait …
20. "Joe Biden is only implementing the plan that we put in place."
Trump said his administration would distribute 40 million Covid-19 vaccines before he left office. He, um, didn’t do it.
21."By the time I left that magnificent house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, almost 20 million Americans had already been vaccinated."
Except that he said 40 million would be vaccinated. And, as The Washington Post noted, Trump’s administration didn’t even deliver 20 million vaccines until January 7.
22. "Your Second Amendment is in far bigger trouble than you know. And for four years, I fought like hell to save your Second Amendment, and we saved it 100%."
Biden has called for an end to the gun show loophole and a ban on assault weapons. Which does not suggest the 2nd Amendment is about to be abolished.
23. "I will tell you something and I said, had we had a fair election, the results would have been much different."
There is zero evidence that the 2020 election was fraudulent or stolen. None.
24. "We went to CPAC, remember last, I said we are going to watch the President, well, Alice, the wind isn’t blowing, I don’t believe we’ll have any electricity. Remember we would – we would kid. But I wasn’t actually kidding. It’s such an expensive form of energy. It’s so bad for the environment. It kills the birds. It destroys the landscapes."
He really, really hates windmills. Here’s why.
25. "We won the election twice. I mean, you know, think about it …"
I thought about it. Trump still lost to Biden in 2020.
26. "That’s why the party is growing so rapidly and is becoming a different party."
“Spurred By The Capitol Riot, Thousands Of Republicans Drop Out Of GOP” – NPR, 2/1/2021
27. "Many people have asked what is ‘Trumpism’ … What it means is great deals, great trade deals, great ones, not deals where we give away everything, our jobs, our money, like the USMCA replacement of the horrible NAFTA. NAFTA was one of the worst deals ever made, probably the worst trade deal ever made. And we ended it."
So, if I look up “Trumpism” in the dictionary, this then is the definition: “Great deals, great trade deals, great ones, not deals where we give away everything, our jobs, our money, like the USMCA replacement of the horrible NAFTA. NAFTA was one of the worst deals ever made, probably the worst trade deal ever made. And we ended it.” Er, OK?
28. "It means no riots in the streets. It means law enforcement."
Uh…
29. "On top of all that, we have even created the Space Force, the first new branch of the United States military in nearly 75 years."
30. "The mission of the Democrat Party is to promote socialism."
“I beat the socialist. That’s how I got elected. That’s how I got the nomination. Do I look like a socialist? Look at my career — my whole career. I am not a socialist.” – Joe Biden, September 2020.
- "We started hearing ‘we love you’ and I asked somebody, you know, because we really liked Ronald Reagan, right? We had others. But I said, did anybody ever say that to Ronald Reagan or to any of our great? And to the best of all of these political professionals’ knowledge and pollsters, nobody has ever heard that chant before, Matt. So, it’s an honor."
Trump is saying here that his are the first rallies where people yelled and chanted “I love you.” Yes, seriously.
32. "When you think about it, we love you, you are saying that about – I hate to say it. Am I a politician? I don’t know, maybe I’m a politician."
33. "We believe in law and order. And we believe that the men and women of law enforcement are heroes who truly deserve our absolute support."
Quick reminder: Trump told rioters who beat and taunted Capitol Police officers on January 6 that he loved them and that they were very special.
34. "We can never let this or other abuses of the 2020 election be repeated or happen again. Can never let that happen again."
Again, zero evidence of any widespread fraud in the 2020 election. None.
35. "Republicans should be the party of honest elections that can give everyone confidence in the future of our country."
“So look. All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have because we won the state.” – Donald Trump, in a January phone call with Georgia Republican Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger.
36. "This election was rigged. And the Supreme Court and other courts didn’t want to do anything about it."
The Supreme Court, with a 6-3 conservative majority and three justices appointed by Trump? That one? Man, rigged!
37. "And the only people that should be allowed to vote by mail are people that can be proven to be either very sick or out of the country or military where they can’t do it. One day."
Trump cast a ballot via mail in the 2020 election. And he was not “very sick or out of the country or military where they can’t do it.”
38. "You know, we have a little problem adjusting in Detroit. We seem to have more votes than we have people – a lot more votes, an election-changing number."
Nope!
39. "We’re not talking about a number where you – no, these are election-changing numbers. In Pennsylvania, they had hundreds of thousands of more votes than they had people voting."
40. "We cannot have leaders who show more passion for condemning their fellow Americans than they have ever shown for standing up to Democrats, the media and the radicals who want to turn America into a socialist country."
Wait, aren’t Democrats “fellow Americans” too?
41. "The Democrats don’t have grandstanders like Mitt Romney, little Ben Sasse, Richard Burr, Bill Cassidy, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, Pat Toomey – and in the House, Tom Rice, South Carolina, Adam Kinzinger, Dan Newhouse, Anthony Gonzalez, that’s another beauty, Fred Upton, Jaime Herrera Beutler, Peter Meijer, John Katko, David Valadao, and of course, the warmonger, a person that loves seeing our troops fighting, Liz Cheney. How about that?"
Oh no, he’s not bitter. Just listing off all the Republicans who voted for his impeachment. All good! Water under the bridge!
42. "When you look at the crowds outside that want your seats so badly, they will take your seat in two seconds. They want your seat. Congratulations."
Trump takes a pause from bashing Republicans to note that anyone who leaves in the audience is immediately replaced by someone else. Because he is so popular. I mean, this guy invented people yelling “I love you” at political rallies!
43. "[Mitch McConnell] asked for my endorsement – brought him from one point down to 20 points up. And he won his race in the great state – and, actually, the great Commonwealth of Kentucky."
44. "Because of my efforts campaigning, we had huge gains in the House. And I helped keep many senators in their seats – and they will admit it – so that it’s now 50-50, instead of Republicans being down anywhere from eight to 10 seats."
Worth noting: Republicans lost the House majority in 2018. And the Senate majority in 2020.
45. "I got more votes – I got more – and which is me – when I say ‘I,’ I’m talking about we. We – we got more votes than any incumbent, any incumbent president in the history of our country, almost 75 million votes."
Trump got 74,222,960 votes. Which is a lot! But not as many as the 81,283,361 Biden got.
46. "Well, we won the second. We did much better. It’s, sort of, strange, right?"
[narrator voice] He didn’t.
47. "Thanks to my coattails, Democrats failed to flip a single state legislature – think of it – or a legislative chamber."
Coattails are a thing that happens when you win. Trump did not win.
48. "When you talk about – they probably have them going because they also care about ratings, but when they talk about election, they turn off the cameras. You know why? It’s a very sore subject, OK? They don’t like that subject."
So, if the media turn off their cameras when Trump talks about the 2020 election, how do we have so much footage of this speech? It’s a miracle!
49. "History will show that this was the moment when we could have given up, when we could have despaired, but instead, we chose to keep on pushing forward. The greater the challenge and tougher the task, the more determined we must be to pull through to triumph. We have to have triumph. We have to have victory."
Certainly sounds like he isn’t going to quietly recede into the background…
50. "And then a Republican president will make a triumphant return to the White House. And I wonder who that will be. I wonder who that will be. Who, who, who will that be, I wonder?"
Yeah, this feels like a good place to end.
Ah, the muffin defense, famously used by nobody ever.
A) 334 leaks certainly is a lot.
B) You know there were thousands more they didn’t catch.
C) I guess this is what happens when you try to install Fascism 2016 into a Democracy mainframe. Highly incompatible.
Trump ‘Golden Idol’ Statue At CPAC Has A Super-Awkward Origin Story
One of the people behind the stunt comes clean.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-golden-idol-statue-china_n_6040556cc5b6ff75ac415d43
The gold-colored statue of Donald Trump that had conservatives lining up for photos at last weekend’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) has a surprising origin, and it’s more than a little awkward given the former president’s rhetoric.
The statue was made in China, both Politico and CNN reported.
“Everything is made in China,” Jose Mauricio Mendoza, a business partner of statue creator Tommy Zegan, admitted to Politico. “I want to be straight because if I’m going to sell these statues, they have to be true.”
CNN even obtained footage of the statue in China, above.
Trump spent much of his administration railing against China, despite having extensive business dealings with the country (himself and his family company). He also hammered China during his CPAC speech.
The creators of the statue originally claimed it was made in Mexico, but Mendoza eventually confirmed the truth to The Independent.
“If somebody says ‘Why would he do it?’ well, I think that you don’t want to have a Trump statue at the CPAC and say ’Yeah, it was made in China,’” Mendoza told the newspaper, adding they could make four statues in China for the price of one elsewhere.