Man who vandalized Trump’s Walk of Fame star bailed out by person who did it years ago. Good team work!
10th day of White House protests. It’s shark week.
Republicans Accuse Rosenstein of Secretly Plotting to Uphold Constitution
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—House Republicans on Thursday accused the Deputy Attorney General, Rod Rosenstein, of “secretly and nefariously” implementing a plot to uphold the United States Constitution.
In a joint press conference, Representatives Mark Meadows, of North Carolina, and Jim Jordan, of Ohio, said that they had “ample evidence” that Rosenstein was prepared to protect the Constitution “by any and all means at his disposal.”
“There is only one way to describe Rosenstein’s obsession with putting the Constitution before all other concerns,” Meadows said. “Conflict of interest.”
“It is almost as if Rod Rosenstein had taken some kind of solemn oath to defend a centuries-old document,” Jordan said. “This should make every American very, very scared.”
Though the Republicans have shelved their articles of impeachment against Rosenstein for now, they hope that their impeachment threat will send a clear message to Rosenstein that his reckless allegiance to the Constitution will no longer be tolerated.
“If, going forward, Rosenstein uses his position at the Department of Justice to seek justice, he will be crossing a red line,” Meadows said.
Trump Family Flees to Moscow
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Bringing a tumultuous chapter of American history to an abrupt conclusion, Donald J. Trump and three of his adult children fled to Moscow in the early hours of Friday morning.
Accompanied by Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., Trump boarded a specially chartered Aeroflot plane to take him to his new home in Moscow, a nondescript apartment building that also houses the former N.S.A. employee Edward Snowden.
Trump reportedly was in a tremendous hurry to catch the plane and left behind only a one-sentence note, reading, “THERE WAS NO COLUSION [sic].”
At the White House, Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed that the Trump family had fled to Moscow, telling reporters, “The Trump family has not fled to Moscow.”
The arrangements for the Trumps’ exit were finalized last week in the one-on-one conversation between Trump and Vladimir Putin, in Helsinki, a translator who was present during the conversation has confirmed.
According to the translator, Trump told Putin, “We’ll move to Moscow as soon as Ivanka winds down her crappy company.”
Those who witnessed Trump’s departure indicated that his wife, Melania, did not board the Aeroflot plane with him, but saw him off at the airport with a cordial “Be best.”
Weird full (blood) moon phenomenon perhaps. Weird intersection at the DCA today.
Keeping it light on a Summer Friday
Someone put up a portrait of Vladimir Putin where Trump’s portrait would be in the Colorado state Capitol Presidential Portrait Gallery.
And then CNN picks this story up.
Re Putin’s portrait, how appropriate, and what an utter WASTE of $10,000 to hang trump, or at least his portrait… Let’s hope it remains unfunded!